How should you label us?

There has been some confusion over how those with hearing loss prefer to be labeled as. You've heard the following terms:

• deaf
• hard of hearing (or HoH)
• hearing impaired (trust me on this - do NOT use that term with anyone)

Those terms do not come with a "one size fits all" tag. I prefer to be called "deaf". I am deaf enough that you cannot lump me with others who have slight hearing loss because that infers I can hear something. I have deaf friends, HoH friends, and hearing friends.

By rule, we do not feel offended if you ask us how we prefer to be labeled as. By asking us rather than labeling us, we get to assert our own sense of identity within the hearing world and we feel that you have shown respect to us.

As for the "hearing impaired" term, we would prefer that you never use that - it is offensive to us. However, this warrants another post because it is too long...and deserves its own post. I promise to discuss that issue in the near future.

Emmy's question about reasoning & philosophy behind lipreading

Emmy from Right Turn Without Signaling left this comment on an earlier post, as verbatim: "My daughter's teacher who is deaf told us interesting stories about the philosophy of being raised deaf. She was forced to learn to read lips before they allowed her to learn sign language because of the philosophy at that time which was to make deaf kids "normal". What was your experience like?"

I can tell you from experience that she wasn't kidding about the mentality at the time. Doctors and educators felt that they knew what was best for all of us and told our parents what to do. The parents were given Hobson's choice - either learn the way that was recommended for the deaf kids or learn the way that was recommended for the deaf kids.

My parents told me the doctors had recommended to them that I go to a school with hearing children (commonly called "mainstreaming") but they felt I would benefit from deaf education. They opted for the kind of school that emphasized on oral communication rather than sign language because they were told that this was the best way.

I went to that school for several years before the school decided that I was ready for mainstreaming at the age of 13 years old. According to my mother, I tested well enough to be placed in 8th grade which is on par for kids in that age range, but extraordinary for a deaf kid. However, she felt that 8th grade would overwhelm me and opted for me to start in 7th grade instead. Looking back, I have to say she was right.

*Editor's note: I want everyone to know that I am not agreeing and/or disagreeing with what was decribed in Wikipedia's definition on "mainstreaming" - this was for your education on what that word means exactly. You are more than welcome to research this on your own time. :)

Say What?

This is a recurring "Say What?" series. It is based on what happens to me when I lipread people and I wanted to share with everyone my experiences. Despite all of the training I have received in lipreading with years and years of experience, there have been humorous (and disastrous) moments of misinterpreting what was said to me. Stay tuned. ;)

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I promised that I would answer questions and Anjeny asked me a question in her comment to Tuesday's post - "Do I read lips?"

Yes, I do...but I do not comprehend 100% when relying only on lipreading. I prefer sign language which greatly reduces the chances of misunderstanding what was being said to me. I've discovered, with great amusement on my part and others, that I can cyber-lipread. Hehe!

I have an account at formspring.me - here's the link. Please do feel free to ask me any question...in here, by e-mail, or at formspring - nothing is out of bounds.

Psst...the answer to the title is "the chicken" because there's no way an egg could be formed without the assistance of a chicken. ;)

Sorry about the "phantom" posts that originated from my blog. I wasn't thinking when I typed in the publish dates for two posts and after looking over my blog for appearances, I noticed that I had already published two posts...and this one was one of the two. Oops! Sorry about the confusion!

Welcome to my new blog!

Welcome to my new blog! I am sure that many of you have questions to ask...all in good time. Right now, I want to introduce you to the real me. I have a disability and it is what I like to call an "invisible disability".

You would never know from seeing pictures of me or even chatting with me online that I have a disability. I do not have any form of mental deficiency. I do not have any physical deformity. In fact, my I.Q. has been measured at or around 143 which puts me in the "above average" range...for a hearing person. Yes, I am deaf.

Why did I bring up the I.Q. issue? I first heard of the phrase "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" when I was 25 years old. Because of my deafness, I never picked up on things like that. In fact, a deaf friend of mine had never heard of the word "cooties" until last week when his hearing fiancee jokingly said "Are you afraid of getting my cooties?" and he is almost 40. Imagine how much more information I could pick up...if I could hear. I'd probably fall over from excessive brain weight! Hehe

How would you know that I am deaf when you look at me? You wouldn't, unless you talk to me in person. That's why I call it an invisible disability. I am not slightly deaf or even hard of hearing. I am profoundly deaf and during audiological tests, my ears start to register noise at above 90 decibels.

How loud is that? I don't hear a heavy truck...unless it goes by me at a close distance. Firecrackers start at 100 decibels, rock concerts at 110, and jet taking off at 120. I don't hear my lawnmower (it's around 110)...yes, I know...I am lucky that I can't hear that. ;)

Why have I created this blog? I wanted to share with the world the unique perspective of being a deaf person...and being a deaf parent. My wife is hearing and my girls are hearing. I know you're curious and like I said, all in good time. I want to introduce you to my world, one post at a time. Maybe I will create an account with formspring where you can ask me questions.

DCHY