Confessions from a deaf man doing his best he can...

I stopped blogging right before last Thanksgiving because of several reasons:

1. I had a personal crisis
2. Because of #1, I threw myself into serving the deaf community
3. Because of #1 & #2, I ran out of time/things to say
4. Because of #1, #2, & #3, I stopped blogging
5. Because of #1, #2, #3, & #4, I took on a second job (teaching)

About 2 days into the 2nd job, a friend needed us after her husband walked out on her and the family.  His reason at the time?  "I can't do this, I need time to myself."  That made me very angry because of the way he said it...as if he really wasn't required to be responsible for everyone.

As if he had an escape clause.  What the...? 

This triggered the following scenarios:

1. Stepped in as a substitute for the friend and her family
2. Discovered the husband had a mistress (he denied everything, even when the mistress' father stepped forward to say he is living with her)
3. Had to deal with the jerkwad myself since I report directly to him on the board
4. Aforementioned jerkwad disappeared, shirking his duties which made my job harder
5. After missing 3 straight meetings while barely doing any of his duties, he resigned via e-mail
6. Incompetent Veep had to step up and I had to deal with the moron myself
7. Wife asked me to talk to the friend because she was feeling down
8. Friend asked wife something about me; wife told her she trusts me and directly asked me to flirt with friend a bit - make her feel good and like a woman again

When we (friend and I) were getting to know each other a little bit better in the beginning, she asked me WHY her husband would leave her for a woman who is young.  My response was this - "He left you for a woman with no obligations in her world; no kid, no house to maintain, nothing.  Even her car and auto insurance is being paid for by her parents.  Remember, he said he didn't want responsibility and she fits the bill."

I have discovered friend's mind to be incredibly beautiful and intoxicatingly erotic.  Could not get enough of her...she was incredibly smart and she held her own against me during our chats and I'd think this the whole time - "And he left her?  I'd never leave her!"

Right before the date for divorce to be finalized in court, he TRIED to get back together with her.  She did waver on that a little.  I knew why - it's the familiar feeling of having a security blanket.  I reinforced the very reason why he left and she never wavered again.  Despite his best efforts, friend walked into the court, signed the papers, and walked out.  She showed me her text to the mistress afterward, "It's over, you can have him now."

Then...softball season came around.  Come back next week for that...if you want.  :)

Update on my life's new direction

Editor's note: Whoops! Forgot to set this to publish this at midnight. I was wondering why I wasn't getting my comments. ;)

Boy, talk about being caught off-guard...I got to a major event a bit early to help set up a booth so we could showcase the community center and how it can help the deaf community. The problem was I had not thought of trying out the display stand prior to that event, let alone know how to put one up.

The woman who brought it was stumped as well. She had not put one up before and had no experience. She shoved the manual into my hand so I knew I had to decipher it and have the display up in minutes. The manual did not use words, just pictures. No problem...except the layout of the pictures was confusing. LOL

I had to re-read the manual before I figured out the order of the layout and then I got it fully assembled in 5 seconds. What I didn't count on was the sheer size of the display. It was HUGE! It took up 90% of the booth table (you know, the standard plastic buffet-style table which is about 5 feet long). The display stand was 4.5' by 4.5' and there was no way we could sit behind the table - we would be completely obscured by the display. That meant we had to stand in front of the booth the whole time.

Grr.

Why? Because there were 6 hours of booth time scheduled and only three people volunteered for 3 shifts (1 shift = 1 hour) total. Others didn't bother to reply or had excuses. That meant I was responsible for minimum of 3 hours and that turned into 5 hours total because of the sheer number of people who wanted to know more about the center.

I was able to convince a whole bunch of people to sign up for the announcements of open-captioned theater movies. Let me explain about the OC movies...the movies are shown in a normal way with one exception - the words are either shown ON the screen (one theater does this) or on the special smoked glass on flexible necks to reflect the words (3 other theaters do this).

The special smoked glass style is called Rear Window Captioning and how the system uses those refractors (as they're called). There is a LED display case near the projector window that shows the words backwards and is shown in correct order on the refractors. The system looks like this...

(The words say "Welcome to Rear Window. Please adjust your reflectors.")

Yesterday, the board president sent an e-mail to the board and the center's management team congratulating those who were at the booth. He even said people had nothing but praise for me. They liked how visible I was at the booth and how willing I was to talk with everyone instead of handing them off to someone else at the booth. Hey, that's my job - I have to be there for everyone. :)

I've got the bug for community service

...and it is a wonderful feeling to have. When I was growing up, I knew something was amiss in my life. I enjoyed helping others, but it never seemed to fill me up or the feeling wasn't permanent enough.

I wasn't able to pinpoint that until I joined my fraternity. One of the requirements for becoming a brother was to do community service. My first task was to help clean up the sponsored mile on a highway. I was struck by how committed the brothers were in cleaning up the trash, no matter what was thrown out by drivers who could not be bothered to dispose their unwanted items properly.

Then, I had an idea and organized a blood drive (using my job connections) for the students and I called on the brothers to bleed for Red Cross. First time ever I had donated blood. I felt good afterward...REALLY good.

After I graduated from college, I felt a little "lost" for a while. I thought it was because I didn't have a structured life (school, fraternity, job, thesis, dorm life, hijinks, etc.). I was asked by a friend to become Athletic Director (A.D.) for a deaf club and when I started serving as A.D., that's when I realized what was missing in my life.

I've been an A.D., a Chairperson, a Manager, a Committee Member, a Vice President, a President, and a Consultant for various clubs and organizations. I stopped being very active because a certain person contributed to me not being on any board anymore (kept going after me with claims such as lying, not serving with best interests for everyone, dereliction of duties, etc.) except for a a certain committee on which I am the presiding Chairperson.

Never understood why that psycho wouldn't leave me alone. Maybe the psycho can't stand me or fears me. I had previously worked under the psycho at a job for almost 3 years until I quit 5 years ago when I wasn't happy with how the psycho was handling things. Whatever.

That feeling of inadequacy...like I wasn't useful or something...started to creep back into my life. I wasn't aware of that. Just wanted nothing to do with the psycho, so I stopped going to clubs and organizations whereever that psycho was. I was burned out, done.

Spring of '10 was the genesis - a man in his 40's started going around the neighborhood, begging to mow people's lawn so he could eat. Sometimes, he would offer a reduced fee when he didn't have any gas in his lawnmower and borrowed gas from them. I didn't always have the cash to hire him (which I felt badly about every time), but I got an idea. I waited until he came to my house again and when he did, I explained my idea to him. He wasn't sure about this, but I told him that it was my idea and I was willing to do this.

The idea? I left a full 5-gallon gas can on the porch so he could come over and fill up his lawnmower any time and then go beg other people while his lawnmower has a full tank. I told him that I ask nothing from him in return so he could pay it forward by mowing elderly people's lawns either for free or at a reduced fee. When I first saw him that spring, he was skinny. Now? He's well-fed. ;)

I have mulling over this idea (not originally mine) that targets the elderly people who do not have the means to take care of their properties (porch needs to be painted, doors need to be fixed, and so forth), but I am not sure how they could help pay it forward. Can anyone suggest how the elderly people could help in other ways?