Scene: At a pizzeria with my older daughter (after wife and younger daughter went to the bathroom)
Her (looking concerned): Where's the lesbian?
Me (after looking around for a "lesbian" and realizing maybe that's not what she said): Where's what?
Her: Where's the last piece (of my pizza)?
Me (now composed after suppressing my hysterical laughter fit): Oh, C ate it. Sorry.
1 day ago